Goodbye Jilli-bug

Twenty years ago, before Mike and I were even engaged, we become "parents" for the first time to a teeny, tiny, not even weaned kitten. Our neighbor and friend Mary found her abandoned by her mother at the horse stables where she worked and brought her home covered in fleas and spent two weeks getting rid of her fleas and bottle feeding her. Mary asked us if we wanted her and Mike and I took her in. Mike was telling the kids tonight the story of how I went out and bought her all these kitty toys - I think she got a new kitty toy every week there for awhile :) - and put them all in a basket for her. When we got home from work each night - every toy was strewn about the house. Mike and I would spend hours playing with her and wondering what we did before she came into our lives!
Six months later Talasi, a one-year-old wolf hybrid that belonged to Mike's sister came to live with us. I was so worried this wolf was going to eat my baby! We found someone an hour's drive away, clear on the other side of the Phoenix valley and took her to be "psychologically analyzed". I had nothing to worry about. Talasi was so gentle with her and Jilli used to curl up right against her and sleep. (Talasi became one of our most loved dogs ever and loved our children and our other cats we acquired like they loved her. She passed away in 2004)
Jilli had this unusual habit of kneading and sucking on my hair whenever possible. At times she was quite aggressive and annoying about it. The vet told us they thought it was due to her being weaned way before she was ready to be weaned and I was like a mother to her and it was a response she had to me. She continued that habit for most of her 20 years. She also liked sleeping on us. She would go back and forth between Mike and I and drape herself across our waist at night. It was such a comforting habit that it was hard to sleep if she wasn't there.
She loved to eat pieces of banana out of my hand and mandarin oranges. She loved to drink out of the bathroom sink. She loved playing with the tie on Mike's bathrobe. She loved immediately sitting on Uncle Larry's lap when he sat down on the couch, "knowing" he was massively allergic to her. (Larry eventually grew out of his allergies to cats and I'd like to think she helped build up his immunity to allergies against our cats.) She loved us and we loved her.
Jilli started going downhill a few months ago and we started giving her Magic Minerals from a friend and wet cat food. She rebounded for a while. Then the weight just started dropping and about a week ago quit eating. We tried everything and she wouldn't eat. She was having trouble walking and could no longer jump up on anything without falling and was sleeping non-stop. She would curl up with anyone who sat down on the couch and would lay between Mike and I at night. This last week she would curl up against my chest and sleep with her paws on my shoulder and her head tucked under my chin. I think she knew her time was coming and wanted to be as close as possible to us.
If you have a love for your animals, you know that they become just like one of your children. It's devastating when you have to say goodbye. You want to be selfish and keep them close to you for as long as possible. We made the hard decision to put our much beloved kitty to sleep. It's been a very emotional weekend and very emotional goodbye. I don't see Mike cry very often but he has had just as many emotional moments as I have knowing we were going to have to say goodbye. We went to the vet together, Mike carrying her in. Mike said his goodbye to her in the lobby while I decided to spend her last moments holding her. I'm glad I did. I know she's not suffering any longer but oh, how I will miss my baby.